My book is here. Did I just upload the file and hit submit? Yup. Now I wait, until I receive confirmation that everything is ready for printing and press. Thank you amazon. Thank you wonderful person.
Funny how the tables turned. Yesterday I felt this nudge in my heart. It yelled, I knew you couldn’t do it. I saw all of the books I am working on. All of the deadlines I committed to and the hope and love poured out on every single page. I knew I could do it.
I took a break. I had some chocolate, tea and painted for my next book. Oh and I asked for help. Today I came home and in minutes finished my book.
Oh shoot now its on to other projects. I’m scared. I’m excited.
Oh my goodness resistance almost won today but I am still here. I uploaded the files for my book. I was already to do it. Today is the day. That’s it, no more holding on to this project. The deadline is TO-DAY. I was nauseous, nervous and scared. That’s when I new I had to do it.
I had it all planned out. Copy and pasted my awesome book description. The listing was ready to go. I planned on giving the book away for free. It was my holiday gift to the world .I checked spelling and grammar, read the book out loud. Everything felt good. I got this, I told myself. Then I uploaded the file and previewed the e-book…
in that moment resistance showed up. The formatting was all wrong. I kept fixing it, hours went by and I just couldn’t get it right. I came close to desperately whining. OK I did. I have been working on this book for a year. Well, maybe 8 months. I went back and forth with the editing, the images, layout, font and every single detail. I still need to fix it but I needed a break.
It’s weird because I feel like this feels like a PROJECT. I mean launching something is hard. There’s sweat and tears. I certainly felt that today. If things had gone smooth, I would have just stayed in my comfort zone. I need exactly the opposite to succeed. Right? How many times have I published a book. Never. How many books do I need to publish to now what I’m doing? Who knows but I’ll keep working.
I’ve got tons of them and yet I am painting this poster.
…which has me thinking about all the books I want to publish. Seems like there’s not enough time to get them all done. Maybe I should start with ebooks? Yes, that seems like a good idea. But I have dreams of holding my book in hand. I loved paining all of those trees. What about giving the ebook away for free? I want readers to imagine and be curious with every turn of the page.
I’ve been thinking about all of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve learned that I’m not an illustrator. I doodle. I paint. I CREATE. Ok yes I illustrate but I realize my talent is along the lines of, The day the crayons quit or Eric Carle’s collage art. I could do that. Well. not like Carle BUT like ME.
I long to create this type of work everyday of my life. That’s why I painted this poster for #HOMwork. Painting this made me think of all the books I’ve either written or started painting.
I feel like I just have to share my work. I have days where I paint thoughts that pop in my head.
I have days where I work on books. Winning the scholarship could help me write my books the way I see them in my head.
I can’t seem to draw Ellie right. I keep trying and erasing. I guess tonight’s not a good day to draw. I can’t seem to concentrate. My drawing feels to forced. I keep erasing and erasing and ERASING…stuck in the same place. Do I draw my characters as I have? For some reason I’m drawn to this historical vintage feel. I sketched clothes and animals BUT my drawing skills– wish I could just draw.
It was so much easier to paint trees. Wait …maybe I should take what I’ve learned from my Wise Trees book? Yeah I painted trees with Q-tips and melted crayon. It was awesome!
Note to self. Stick to the book deadline. Publish Wise Trees. Publish Wise Trees. You’ve talked about it.Now walk your talk. Keep writing and creating. Keep making art. It’s all you can do. Create your art.
seems like so long ago that I had this crazy idea to write a book. I painted trees and wrote. Now I have a collage animal book idea inspired by the man himself Eric Carle, the love poem that will be converted to a book, a flower book…I’ll be creatiing a book dummy for the next book. Oh gosh my heart is pounding.
First I must tie up loose ends with Wise Trees.
I have been repainting AGAIN, making sure all is the best it can be.
This is pretty good. BUT there”s not enough contrast in the spirals.
Maybe the tree needs texture?
Texture is all wrong? I went back and forth. I kept editing and editing… back and forth and looking at the words for the book.
This tree needs a squirrel. Yes, hearts and all lookin good.
There’s always an artist who has everything figured out. They are living the dream and maybe even film a live sketching or painting session. The art is amazing and the artists proceeds to say, this is a mess and it isn’t perfect so I’ll clean it up in photoshop. Ha! Perfection is false. It’s all about the process.
for a crazy week. Sometimes I feel like I’m running around with to dos AND THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TODAY. Then I sat down to repaint Ana and George’s hot air balloon.
I sketched this new design. Just a pencil. No eraser. It turned out beautiful. And the quote is exactly on point. That’s probably what gave me the idea to draw this today. An Alice in Wonderland color scheme? Yeah this is going to be great!
SO I set up my supplies and began painting. I mixed up the paint. Things were feeling good. The more I painted the more I made mistakes. I tried to make it work. IT DIDN’T. I just kept imagining this balloon on the cover of my picture book–the adventures of Ana and George. I just wanted to crumble up the paper and call it a day. Any little thing was about to set me off. And then I said,” Look you drew the awesome sketch so just paint. Just paint. And I did, but my painting session had come and gone for the day.
And still I wonder, was that session a total waste? Of course not! I still have to edit wise trees and add the remaining trees. Now I have all these books to write.
Last night I felt the need to write a letter to idea. I have never in all my life felt the way I do now about the notion of an idea. I have, its just that the book BIG MAGIC is amazing. I sat down when all was quiet and calm and I wrote idea a letter:
-Imagine all the impossibilities that are possible
Seems like many artists these days are talking about how to survive the deep doubt…
When am I going to make a sale?
I’ve been blogging for a long time and still no one cares.
What’s wrong with my art?
There’s too many artists out there already.
I have run out of ideas
His or her work is amazing but I don’t know about mine.
I just started and they’ve been creating art for a long time. I’m late.
I could do this or do that but I have no idea how
How do I make it to the other side of glory…the place where my work has been accepted?
I wonder what Jon Contino’s first sketches looked like? How can you possible be on the other side of glory when they’re on the side of deep doubt? How?
a digital tree I created years ago.
On the side of excitement sure there’s a little doubt but I hardly notice it. My book is near finished. I’m just waiting to do one last edit and then the cover page. I just think of the kid who will read it and hopefully wow at all the pictures.
Imagine all the impossibilities that are possible.