Thinking Too Much

mistakesflow

So I am painting all these objects for my next book. It’s funny how I don’t fret about the mistakes I make. I remember the days when I’d get upset, throw it out and start over. I don’t do that anymore.

Something happens to me. I go into a, fix it or make it work mode. Now I paint over my mistakes or use the eraser tool in Affinity Photo. I think of  Jon Contino’s words. You could do tons of revisions but the first one is always the best. It’s so true. I’ll get perfect color, layout or just the overall design feels good. Then perfection takes over. I dip the brush in a wrong color and doubt creeps in along with the ugly splatters that ruined my art.

How many times have I done that? PLENTY, I checked.  I kept painting and repainting trees but then I realized, no I refuse to do this.

 

 

 

 

 

I recognize when I second guess myself. I have deadlines to meet. Oh my goodness I realize that I’ve always looked at mistakes as, what if my art is misunderstood because of a wrong color or maybe I should do this instead of that. But what if my art loses its magic the more I think and think about what I did wrong. 

Yes I gotta let the kid play. She has great ideas. I trust her. Did I just write that? OK I can see why I had to repaint some of the trees. Practice helps me find that sweet balance.

-there are no impossibilities

 

 

 

I am an illustrator

I’m not an illustrator. I am not a hand letterer. Wait a minute, did I just write that? Yeah I did and its forever on the last page of my journal entry. Something feels wrong about this. I feel limited.

 

So then  I go and listen to an awesome The Nose Knows Podcast. Jon Contino answers the question, when can you call yourself an illustrator. “It’s all in your head he says. You don’t need for someone to tell you, a degree or instagram likes…”

Not exactly his words but yeah that’s what he said. He’s right.

I don’t need a contest on instagram to tell me. For some reason I did look to this contest as a way to prove myself in a sense. I don’t need to do that. It was awesome to be part of this project. It was awesome to share my project.  I am happy for all the winners! I’m happy that I was able to put this poster together. I am growing and working on amazing projects. Yes every now and then it is awesome to have a MOMA artist like my work. I’ll take that.

passion prject poster

 

THERE YOU GO. I am an illustrator. Sure my are isn’t like the cool illustrations in a Curious George book. Nor do they have to be. That’s the point.  I am  an illustrator and a hand letterer. There are different styles and mine IS MY STYLE. I mean its my voice. Lots of people draw letters, with quotes, about life BUT ITS HOW YOU SAY IT. Shouldn’t I be telling  my story? Yes.

All this goes back to the movie A STAR IS BORN and the phrase I learned from a character who when the world shouts impossible she says

 

…there are no impossibilities.  She says it a smile.

Passion Projects

I’ve got tons of them and yet I am painting this poster.

passion prject poster

…which has me thinking about all the books I want to publish. Seems like there’s not enough time to get them all done. Maybe I should start with ebooks? Yes, that seems like a good idea. But I have dreams of holding my book in hand. I loved paining all of those trees. What about giving the ebook away for free? I want readers to imagine and be curious with every turn of the page.

I’ve been thinking about all of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve learned that I’m not an illustrator. I doodle. I paint. I CREATE. Ok yes I illustrate but I realize my talent is along the lines of, The day the crayons quit or Eric Carle’s collage art. I could do that. Well. not like Carle BUT like ME.

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I long to create  this type of work  everyday of my life. That’s why I painted this poster for #HOMwork. Painting this made me think of all the books I’ve either written or started painting.

passion prject poster

I feel like I just have to share my work. I have days where I paint thoughts that pop in my head.

I have days where I work on books. Winning the scholarship could help me write my books the way I see them in my head.

-there are no impossibilities

Art is my world

Kids calavera for dia de loss muertos

 

I can’t believe how creative these kids are. “You guys are artists. WOW” Seriously I am surprised at how much fun it was to watch them take control and feel a part of something. Prior to this activity we were doing boring fill in the blank busy work, the theme was how families work together. The discussion is awesome but busy work can be boring.

The moment I said your ticket to craft time is finishing these few pages, well I never saw them more focused. I showed them my sample and they were blown away. We had a great discussion. What usually takes an hour took a mere 20 minutes! Art made these kids smile and did we learn about families that day, Y-EAH!

hand lettering on what art is

 

These kids were sharing and creating! I could feel the energy and words that remind me of my purpose, words I’ll never forget. This is the best day ever! When I gave the kids compliments on their amazing skills, they simply said,” I’m just doing my best.” I watched as they were filled with joy from the mere scraps of paper, foam, ribbons and fabric I gave them. It felt amazing. Literally they were old scraps, scraps of projects from the past. But just the right pieces for their masterpieces. I wish I would have taken pictures. They encouraged each other too.

Yeah this was one of the best days ever. No one can take that from us. As for my purpose well, I’ll continue to share art with the world. I got books to publish, and …

 

…there are no impossibilites

Can’t draw right?

I can’t seem to draw Ellie right. I  keep trying and erasing. I guess tonight’s not a good day to draw.   I can’t seem to concentrate. My drawing feels to forced. I keep erasing  and erasing and ERASING…stuck in the same place. Do I draw my characters as I have? For some reason I’m  drawn to this historical vintage feel. I sketched clothes and animals BUT my drawing skills– wish I could just draw.

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It was so much easier to paint trees. Wait …maybe I should take what I’ve learned from my Wise Trees book? Yeah I painted trees with Q-tips and melted crayon. It was awesome!

blue green and yellow round stamped tree

Note to self. Stick to the book deadline. Publish Wise Trees.  Publish Wise Trees. You’ve talked about it.Now walk your talk. Keep writing and creating. Keep making art. It’s all you can  do. Create your art.

–there are no impossibilities

 

 

6 Posts I need the most…

tight now.

 

Yeah, tbese days I’m close VERY CLOSE TO hitting that button and finalizing my VERY FIRST BOOK.  I’m working on lots of projects and most of them are out there. The world says only show the good stuff. I share mostly everything. The world says paint trends. I paint what I want.  Today I read about a janitor,  a single mom. She wrote a book and it won a prestigious award at a prestigious university, the university  where she worked as a janitor.

I never would have found this article had it not been for Austin Kleon and his KEEP WORKING KEEP PLAYING… newsletter. It just so happens that today  I need to reflect.

 

You gotta make that story!

 

A star is born…

 

BIG MAGIC

believe in your ideas

 

painting a purple tree…

practice helps

 

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Fingerprint Tree

I love this tree. Is there someway I can include this in my book? Yeah probably not. Literally, I placed myself in my art. Well, just my fingerprints but it was so much fun!

 

The paint was old and by old I mean the water separated from paint…if that’s possible. Ugh what a mess! But I was determined to paint something awesome.

Fall color palette

My curiosity was invited to play so what else could I do but, PLAY.

I mixed my color with very little water, dipped my finger in color and panted. I painted until my tree looked right…paint with my eyes not my hands is a genius idea. Thanks Michelangelo.

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Oh I had no clue what to do. Yet this beautiful tree happened.

My trunk is lookin’ good. Which brings me to fall. Fall is the time to shed all negativity, doubt,fear,worry and get ready for the beauty to come. The beautiy is all the awesome ideas to come.

 

This fall tree is in my wise trees book.

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I’m ready to launch my first book, making sure all the details are taken care of.

I’ve started working on an elf book, she’s Ellie now. Her friends Gus, Ralphie and Nikki help her realize that togetherness and love build the biggest and bestest tree in the world…as Ellie would say.

-There are no impossibilities

A star is born…

ideasgl

 

the words you have talent…everybody has talent…what are you going to say…how are you going to say it…

What ever you say, say it with everything you got…WITH YOU

this movie hit me hard…made me FEEL what it truly means to be an artist. Everybody has a story…a voice but not everybody can find the courage to just be. You don’t need fancy costumes or lights or dancers…just sing SING THE SONG…

yeah that’s where I’m at right now.

 

You gotta make that story!

You gotta make that story!–the email that I literally just read. Well, not exactly but the subject line singled me out. I’ve been thinking about this dream of making money doing what I love. I love art. I love art so much, I realize teaching 1st grade at an art program school isn’t the option for me. I love kids. I love learning but that’s not my story.

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SO I sat thinking about the first days of my guest teaching. What’s changed since then? I check in, give my all and CHECK OUT. I check out, go home and paint.

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What exactly have I done since them? Have I been running in the same place? I have but wait…I’ve painted hundreds of times. I’ve learned to trust my ideas…

The eraser tool has become such a friend! I draw and draw. 

If I make a mistake who cares. I ‘ll make it work.What a relief.

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whenindoubt

I’ve learned that one idea leads to who knows where.

love story poem

I’ve got this new talk of the town collection I’m working on. I keep jotting down ideas for books and  yeah… the BEST PART OF ME IS I’M A CREATIVE WRITER. I’M A PAINTER. I love love love writing books. I had no idea how to publish a book and Wise Trees is done!

Wise Trees book cover

 

 

I will do the paper work to make it official and once in for all publish it. I’ve been doing a lot of writing since then and THE TIME IS NOW. NO someday I’ll wish upon a star, as Judy Garland sang. The time is now. No holding back. Back then, I lingered in someday and today I’m shouting THE TIME IS NOW. I have grown so much and I’m  excited for the future because…

-There are no impossibilities.

 

 

 

 

create your heart out

Love grows

Ughh…this week was hard.  I spent most of my time cleaning up the files for my wise trees book. I am tired of looking at my laptop screen. It feels like I am neglecting my art.

I am so glad last week happened. I set out to work on my work in progress folder and all these ideas begged to be painted. The best part is I am listening.

This is an old sketch. I finally painted …

 

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I’ve been adding new art to my shop. The fact is I don’t care who likes it or not. All I feel is this sense to continue sharing my work.

painated pink and purple flours

Maybe its baby steps toward my biggest project yet. I’m scared. Deep breaths.  I’m excited! I long for summer days when I work on art all day or night. No matter where life takes me, I must always create.

I painted and painted this balloon. I  kept messing up. Each time I vowed to make it work. I painted over and over again and then this happened. Not bad thanks to a little help from an eraser tool. This balloon sums up my art and every moment that led to my wise trees book. I can’t believe my book is almost here.

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I am now working on a new book. Her name is Elfie and she wants to build the biggest bestest tree in the world. She’s cute and my deadline is this holiday season. I can do it because …

there are no impossibilites.